The Powell Place

My limit

2011-04-27T12:21:00.002-04:00

Life has been crazy lately, not in a good way. I am here. That is the best I can do for now. I've reached my limit.

Partay!!!

2011-02-26T09:07:00.002-05:00

Tonight we a having Tyler's 16th birthday party. (there will be pictures) Wow!!! I have had plenty of time to try and get used to the idea that he is gonna be that old. So aside from me being an emotional mess because my little man is growing up, people are driving me crazy. There is all kinds of crazy conflict in our family. Almost everyone in our family is divorced and remarried. My mom is married to my husband's mom's ex husband. (Did you follow that? HA) So that being said, there are some uncomfortable family gatherings. I try not to invite everyone to everything. I AM sympathetic to how uncomfortable they might be. BUT SERIOUSLY...you all can't be in the same gigantic room at the same time? You all can't put your differences aside to be there for a young man that you all love and support? The calls started this morning with "is so and so gonna be there? Well I might not be able to come." SERIOUSLY????? Grow up. This day is never gonna come again. Ugh!

Okay, I've vented. Now I gotta pull myself together and put a smile on my face and act like none of this is bothering me. My son deserves a great day and shouldn't have to worry about any of this or know that it is bothering me.

Balloons, candles and cake,
Kari

Backspace

2011-02-07T17:00:00.004-05:00

I have started this post three times. All with topics that are currently laying very heavy on my heart. BUT...I just can't share it. Not yet, maybe not ever. There are some things that should not just be thrown out here in cyber space in a careless fashion. This stuff is forever. My grand kids could see this someday. So I backspace.

There are a lot of things on my heart and mind that I can share. (My husband says my mind multi tasks like crazy!) My son is gonna be 16 in less than 3 weeks. That makes me feel old. Am I doing all I can to raise him right? Is he gonna look back on his time living at home with fondness? Does he do things just because it's what we want him to do or is it truly what makes him happy? Am I gonna run out of food at his party?

On the same note, our daughter is gonna be 13 a month after that. What a crazy, emotional time. I feel with her we are always telling her what she should be doing. She has been such a challenge this past year. She asked me the other day if I was gonna be like my mom when I get old. I hope not! She is just not who I want to be, let's leave it at that. Thankfully I have had wonderful women in my life that have shown me examples of the type of person I want to be. I hope my daughter has that. (Of course I hope that I am one of those people for her!)

Does God really forgive all sins? How can He if I cannot? Will anyone ever really know how much love and compassion I have? Have I guarded myself so much that I can't let people see that? Is there going to be a time that I can finally stop letting my past affect my present? But is that really as bad as I make it out to be? My crappy past makes me appreciate what I now have.

Whew! This is making my head hurt. I don't ever see my thoughts like this, lol. Just out in the open.

Peaceful, random thoughts,
Kari

When did that happen?

2011-01-19T16:18:00.002-05:00

So, I spent my day off cleaning out my clothes. I have clothes of many different sizes and they were all together. I got tired of digging through clothes I can't wear to get find something. I decided to separate my clothes according to size so that (hopefully) as I lose weight I can go to the next smaller size without going through all my clothes again.

Okay, a little back story here... Whenever I decide I am going to lose weight I have a size in mind that I want to get to. It is by no means the size of my "ideal" weight but it is where I remember looking a certain way. And it is a size that doesn't require going to a special section of the store.

When I was separating sizes I found several pairs of jeans that were in "the" size. What? When I found the first pair, I thought maybe I bought them as inspiration and never wore them. Then as I found more, I remembered. I wore these. I was actually at the size that I always want to, at least, get to and let it slip away. Why!!!

Why do we do that to ourselves? Why do we work so hard to obtain something we want so badly and then just let it slip away?

I joined Weight Watchers last night. Lets see how it goes.

Wow, it's been a while

2011-01-17T06:17:00.003-05:00

I almost forgot I had a blog. These days Facebook consumes the time I have to keep in touch with friends. It's easy. I'm lazy. And in that short space for updates, I don't pour out all my life's secrets (which I have been compelled to do here, lol).

This morning I remembered a blog that I used to love to read but could not remember the name of it so I logged in to my blog to link to theirs and was shocked to see that the last time I blogged was about Dakota's birth. (I can't even begin to tell you how absolutely in love I am with that little guy!) Maybe I will start blogging again, not that I did it a whole lot before. But this time it may be a bit different. I used to write about what I though people wanted to see. I am a complex person, surprise! If I find my way back here, I am gonna write about whatever I feel like. Beauty, GOD, weight loss (hopefully!), my kids. Life. All encompassing life. If you want to read, go ahead. If not, that's okay too. I really want to make 2011 about making me happy, which will make everyone around me happier. So, on that note, I am gonna go clean my closet.

Happiness and clean closets,
Kari

Meet Dakota

2009-06-02T18:37:00.004-04:00

My nephew arrived today at 11:29 am after an unscheduled c-section. He was due June 22nd but he didn't want to wait(I tried to talk him into coming before we went on vacation. We leave Friday). Dora's water broke yesterday morning but nothing was happening so they started her on pitocin but Dakota didn't like that. His heart rate kept dropping. Dora started running a fever this morning and Dakota seemed to be under some stress so the doctor decided it would be better to just get him out of there. It all went so fast. It seemed like it was no time after my brother went back into the delivery room till he was out again holding this beautiful little baby in his arms. When I left the hospital around 3, Dakota was still on oxygen and his momma still hadn't held him. I feel for her. The first thing you want to do after hearing your baby cry is hold him. I took a video of him crying to show her. I am in awe people! He's just so darn adorable! I am taking the kids back tomorrow to see their little cousin so more pics will come.

Here is a pic of Ash after field day. I missed it to be at the hospital and I feel terrible. It was her last field day since she is moving on to Middle School next year.They had a face painter there. I think whoever it was did an awesome job!

Empty Nest

2009-05-25T16:46:00.003-04:00

Ashley took this picture yesterday of our guests. I don't know how they had been right outside our window and we didn't see them until they got this big. I think they look like they are about ready to leave the nest, but what do I know? I'm just glad that we are able to enjoy them for now.

Okay, I didn't see this post headed in this direction but the "bird leaving nest" thing got me to thinking. These next two weeks are huge milestones in my kids' lives. Ashley is almost done with 5th grade. No more elementary. Awards night is Thursday (our last one) and 5th Grade Brunch is Friday (our last one). Where did all the time go? It seems like yesterday we were attending Tyler's 5th Grade Brunch and I was so worried about him going to middle school. Ashley has been in her school for 7 years. Preschool, kindergarten and grades 1 thru 5. It will be sad to say goodbye to all the teachers that have helped mold my kids into the wonderful people they are. Tyler has awards during school next Tuesday and then on the last day of school, it's 8th Grade Day! That is when the 8th graders (that are not in ISS!) get to go bowling, see a movie, eat pizza, etc. and hopefully get one day uniform free! I've know some of these kids since Tyler was in 2nd grade! It's just so hard to get my head around where we are in our lives right now. I'm trying. Mental note, buy tissue for upcoming events.

Totally different subject... Ashley wants to go camping. I do not camp. (Why? Long story. Dad made us live in a bus in the woods for about 6 months. Sold everything we owned. Didn't go to school, took baths in a stream, used an outhouse...) So she asked the other day when we were at Meijer if we could buy a tent. I told her we bought a tent once and it almost sent me into therapy so we had to take it back. She laughed at me in one of those "Mom, please!" kind of tones and I told her that my main purpose in life is to not have her go to therapy as an adult because of something I did or didn't do while she is a child. She reassured me that I was doing a wonderful job but... just to make sure, I should probably take her camping. I think I just gave her tons of bargaining power!

A month

2009-05-03T09:28:00.004-04:00

It has been almost a month since my last blog. I'm pathetic, I know. I've taken pictures but then I don't have any words to go along with them so I've just stayed silent.

So, what's been going on...nothing. Well, obviously things happen everyday but nothing exciting. My mind has been full of conversations I've had with myself but nothing I need to bother y'all with.

This is all I can come up with. I am truly thankful that it has been non eventful around here. I'd rather have nothing to talk about than tons of drama. I do not handle drama well.
We saw a rainbow.

Ashley's boyfriend broke up with her, then rubbed it in her face that he has a new girlfriend already. I was a little snippy with him for a while. They are trying to "just be friends" right now. I don't know how I feel about that.

My car was broke for a while. My hubby and a few hired hands got it all fixed up. Not sure if I should take it on long trips though, it has well over 100,000 miles on it.

Next week is Teacher/Staff Appreciation week. I am the PTO president for Tyler's school. I am trying to plan something special for everyday. We could all use a pick me up these days.

My momma's birthday is Saturday and Mother's Day is next Sunday. I have NO idea what do do for those days. What are you doing for your mom's for Mother's Day?
I completely adore this kitty. He has been the best pet, companion while I've been off work. He wakes me every morning with lots of purring and love then sometime in the middle of the day (whenever I sit down and relax) he climbs on my lap and falls asleep. He is just adorable and mischievous. I am so glad my hubby decide I needed the company.

Thanks for stopping by.

Wrong, just wrong

2009-04-06T08:04:00.003-04:00

What's wrong with this picture? EVERYTHING!!! Snow. In April. Seriously?

Ashley's Birthday

2009-04-02T07:18:00.009-04:00

Wow, I really didn't mean to wait until almost a week after Ashley's birthday to post this. I got caught up in some books and have done nothing but escape into another world. I needed that. I'd forgotten how much I enjoy reading and temporarly leaving my reality. I guess it's my drug of choice, no hangover.

Okay, on to Ashley's birthday. She decided to have a party here and invite about 15 friends, with a sleepover. WHAT!!!!????? I agreed, temporary insanity. Luckily for me, only one girl showed up for the sleepover and three other friends for the party.

Those other friends were all boys, should I be worried?

My first reaction to not having 20 people in my house was not relief. I had a ton of food. I totally underestimated the appitite of 5 eleven year olds... not much food left at all. What was left, the girls cleaned up while they stayed up till 6am.

Ashley's boyfriend brought her roses. So sweet. (My mom radar totally went off, don't get me wrong. I'm watching him!)

The next day I had to go to a funeral that completely drained me, especially after staying up ALL night. It was an especially emotional service. It was my mom's mother in law. The pastor grew up in the same neighborhood and was friends with all the kids. There were a lot of personal stories. Okay, this is sad, moving on...

When I got home, Ashley's boyfriend and Tori, the girl that slept over (scratch that, the girl that helped Ash keep me up all night) were ready to go to the movies. We went to see Monsters vs. Aliens. I would love to tell you it was a good movie but honestly, I was in a daze through most of it. The kids seemed to enjoy it. I seriously have never seen anyone go back for a popcorn refill, they did! Okay, birthday party (check), sleepover (check), movie (check), so now everyone will go home...nope. The kids stayed and stayed. I was exhausted people! I finally caught Ashley alone and told her to politely get rid of everyone so I could try to sneak in a nap. She was not happy with me but complied. Whew! Okay, enough rambling. Here are some pictures. Hope y'all had a good spring break!
Billy made sure his flowers were part of the "table scape". They really are beautiful.
Cupcake treeGrandma Zook. She is actually my son's grandma but she loves us all like family. I feel the same about her.

Tyler helping put out the sparklers. I really think he just wanted to show off in front of Ashley's friends. HA!
Me, a mom of a 14 yr. old and an 11 yr. old. Where has the time gone?

This and that

2009-03-19T14:02:00.005-04:00

What causes this?

That!!! This is what I saw as I stepped out of my relaxing shower. Isn't he just darling?

Spring? Hello, are you there?

2009-03-04T09:26:00.002-05:00

I hear birds, there are buds on the tulip tree. Could Spring actually be on it's way? I hope so. I can feel it way down deep inside, the urge to shave my legs and paint my toes just in case it gets warm enough for them to come out of hiding and be exposed. I know I could find some flip flops in no time at all if necessary.

One thing that comes with Spring is Ashley's birthday. She will be 11 in a couple of weeks and I can tell times are changing. She has changed her mind at least 5 times about what she wants to do for her birthday, which does not work well for me cause I am a planner. I want to know weeks ahead of time what we are doing, who is doing it with us, etc. I need to plan what to eat and buy and how much money I need to do it all. This morning she decided maybe we should take her and a few friends down to Indianapolis to a hotel with a indoor water park. Ya, okay, I'll get right on that! Let me just pick some money off that tree out back and make the reservations. Maybe we can even get a limo to take us down so I don't have to fight traffic. (Seriously people, I am kidding. Not about what she was asking but that we would actually do it.) I understand that she wants to do something fun with her friends. I also understand the times and town that we live in. I've talked to a couple of parents who have sleep overs and end up getting guests for the weekend because parents never pick their kids up and can not be reached. Usually the kids that spend the night at our house are either related or my friends' kids. I'm a little weary of new friends that have been made this year. It took me over a year to get the little girl that came over almost daily to ask if she could stay while her mom was at the store. Oh, well her mom already left. Can anybody out there relate? One of Ashley's greatest qualities is that she is not a snob. She befriends whoever she likes regardless of what color they are or how they live. Which at times has caused something new that I bought her to end up in their possession because "they really liked it and their mom couldn't buy them one". I feel for them, I grew up on welfare and government cheese. There are days when I completely adore the fact that my daughter is so giving. But I have to admit that there are also those days that it just really ticks me off.

I'm getting off on a completely different rant that was not intended for this post, sorry.

So, two and a half weeks till Spring break and Ashley's birthday. Weather - please continue to get warmer, we've been through enough cold, I think it's time. Jeremy - if you tell me one more time it's 81 degrees in Arkansas, I might just have to stop talking to you (like I could for more than a day, but you get the point).

Welcome Spring. My arms are open, hoping my windows could be too.

Today my baby turns 14

2009-02-27T11:57:00.004-05:00

In years past I am usually sad on Tyler's birthday. This year I am unusually calm. I am so proud of Tyler and the young man that he has become. Don't get me wrong though, I CAN'T BELIEVE HE IS 14 ALREADY!!!!

Happy Birthday Tylerman. I can't sum up in words how much I love you and how proud I am of you. I truly could not ask for a better son. We don't always get along, but I always love you. We are learning together and I could not imagine anyone else to go on this journey with. I appreciate the fact that you still want me around. You still kiss me goodbye no matter who is around. You are not embarrassed to show how much you love your mom. That is a great quality. You are very respected by your teachers and adults who know you. We are all blessed to have you in our lives.

Happy 14th Birthday Tyler!

Happy Birthday!

2009-02-24T07:08:00.003-05:00

Today is my hubby's 35th birthday. Happy Birthday honey! You are a wonderful husband, father and friend. I love you.

There is something wrong here

2009-02-14T18:51:00.001-05:00

My blog is blank. I don't know what happened. I'm gonna see if this posts.

It's a boy

2009-02-11T08:10:00.003-05:00

I had my dates wrong, the ultrasound was yesterday. My little nephew was not shy in showing us that he is a boy. I have pics, I'll try to post one or I might wait to see if we can get better pics. She is high risk, because of her age, and she'll get two more ultrasounds.

I am lucky to still have my tongue because I had to bite it ALOT yesterday. From my brother cussing openly in an office full of variously aged people to his girlfriend confessing she is "so sick of this baby" and her daughter stomping out of the ultrasound mad because it's a boy. I kept quiet and smiled. I want to be the one that this baby comes to whenever he needs me.

Please keep my brother, his girlfriend and my little nephew in your prayers. Anyone that knows my family knows that he will need the grace of God to come out of that situation normal. :-)

Grace

2009-02-05T16:03:00.002-05:00

"amazing grace philosophy - life is a classroom. we are both student and teacher. each day is a test. and each day we receive a passing or failing grade in one particular subject: grace. grace is compassion, gratitude, surrender, faith, forgiveness, good manners, reverence, and the list goes on. it's something money can't buy and credentials rarely produce. being the smartest, the prettiest, the most talented, the richest, or even the poorest, can't help. being a humble person can and being a helpful person can guide you through your days with grace and gratitude."

This is the quote on my bottle of amazing grace body wash. I was soaking in the tub last night and for what ever reason read that quote. I have been thinking about it all day. I hope to live my life with grace. I want to be more considerate to all people and their situations. I am way too quick to judge, especially at Wal-Mart at the first of the month. I find myself questioning doing nice things for people because they may not appreciate it or they would not do it in return. Why? I don't know. Maybe I am getting caught up in this cynical world. I don't want to be that way and I don't want to leave that impression of myself with people.

God - please give me the ability to live a "graceful" life. To be more accepting of people, that they are who they are and I cannot change that.

My brother's girlfriend is pregnant. I have a lot of issues with my brother. The girlfriends he's chosen are not ladies that I would hang out with. Growing up I always wanted a sister and hoped that my brother would marry my future best friend, no such luck. Anyway, I am getting off topic. Next week Dora, my brother's gf, is having an ultrasound and I asked if I could go. My kids are 13 and 10. It's been a while. They said that was fine but I am cautious. I could get so involved in this baby's life and I want to. I'm just not sure that I can keep my mouth shut or hide my feelings well enough to not tick anyone off. This refers to the above of me accepting people as they are. I just choose to lead a different life. But I know that I would be miserable if I wasn't the best Aunt Kari I could be. It will be my first niece or nephew that I am here for. (My brother has another child in Kansas.) So please, pray for me for next week. Her ultrasound is on Thursday. I'll let you know what we find out.

High School, already?

2009-01-27T11:30:00.003-05:00

Tonight is 8th grade parent night at the high school. So basically, Freshman orientation. Wasn't Tyler just learning to walk, tie his shoes, ride a bike, write his name, etc.? Seriously people, I'm not old enough to have a kid in high school. Right?

I am trying so hard to encourage my children to move forward in life with confidence. But I really wish they were still little and needed me a little more. Last night Tyler told me he needed to talk to me. (heart pounding, eek!) So, in my cheeriest, heartfelt mom voice I asked what he wanted to talk about. A girl. (double eek!) He told me that he liked her and she likes him and is it okay if he goes out with her. (Collective "oh how sweet") Yep, my 13 almost 14 year old son asked me if he could go out with a girl. He still appreciates my opinion. Thank goodness.

On another note, Ashley admitted I might know a little more than her when she insisted on going to Tyler's soccer game last night instead of going to bed as I suggested. About 5 minutes after the game started she told me she feels bad and wished she was home in bed. Mom's know best, is what she said. Cute. She's been sick for a few days. Still feeling crummy today.

I guess they do still need me. I just have to wait for them to come to me.

Kitty Smells

2009-01-21T09:50:00.002-05:00

Okay not THOSE smells. I love the way our kitty smells at the end of the day when he's tired and ready to cuddle. He smells like everyone that has held him that day. I love it!

Christmas

2008-12-15T07:17:00.005-05:00

It just doesn't feel the same this year. I'm not sure why. I thought for sure that since I was home, I would have been overcome with holiday cheer. I feel like Cindy Lou Who. Where are you Christmas? (Maybe my Christmas spirit is a little dim because I have jury duty today.) Here are a few photos of what this season has been like for us.
Tyler and Kaylee (a friend) at the Snowball Dance

Tyler and Ashley decorating the tree

Me and Ash before the ballet

I wish you all a very Merry Christmas.

Too fast

2008-11-25T10:47:00.005-05:00

While adding photos to facebook, I came across these. I think they were taken about 7 years ago but as I look at them it seems like a lifetime. They were so sweet and innocent then. Chad and I were the major influences in their lives. Back then it was all about toys and cartoons. How I miss those days. They are growing up too fast.

Random Thoughts

2008-11-03T08:26:00.003-05:00

I have to admit that I sometimes lay in bed at night and think of what I want (or need) to write on this blog then I log in and my mind goes blank. Does that ever happen to you? So today you get random thoughts.

I am ready for this election to be over. Just because I belong to a union doesn't mean I will automatically vote democrat. Stop calling my house asking how I will vote, that's none of your business.

My brother called last week to tell me that his girlfriend is pregnant. I will love this baby to the end of the earth. Here are my problems with the whole situation... Neither of them work, she hasn't been to the doctor yet (she's 36) and my brother has nothing to do with his son. Nuff said.

My kids go back to school today. I don't know how stay at home moms with children at home get anything done. I thought it would be a piece of cake to get extra stuff done around the house with the kids home. They are 13 and 10 after all and are more than capable to help. Didn't happen. I think I refereed more than anything. (of course I'm not getting a whole lot done now :)

We went to Toys R Us over the weekend to let the kids make out Christmas lists. The store was packed with moms Christmas shopping. I was shocked and a bit jealous. I guess they may be less stressed as the holidays near. I don't know.

I hope you are all well. Enjoy the next few days, it may be our last warm days of the year.

What's goin on...

2008-10-14T14:17:00.003-04:00

Okay, so my brother is out of the hospital, my dad is on his way home, football season has ended, my first project as PTO president is over and I am officially beat. This has been such a whirlwind week. I have so many things I want to do and I am just too exhausted, mentally.

On a brighter note, I'm layed off. I will go back to work in 6 months and I am looking forward to the time at home and with my kids. Of course I have yet to get up and make them waffles for breakfast or have some wonderful homemade something ready for them when they get home from school but that will come. The bad part about layoff is that we will have to be a little more thrifty. I wish I could use this time traveling and visiting friends, maybe even getting a start on Christmas shopping but for now I will get the laundry done and try to stay ahead of the game.

Please think of me...

2008-10-08T06:31:00.003-04:00

***UPDATE***
My brother is getting out of the hospital today. He had a problem at first getting the meds to work but now everything seems to be going well. He has no clots in his legs. His heart is enlarged on one side but that isn't a worry, I guess. He needs to make some big lifestyle changes. I hope this has opened eyes to the fact that he needs to take better care of himself. Thanks for you thoughts and prayers.

I was preparing a long post about how stressful life is right now with all that is going on (just really busy with kid stuff) but now that is all pushed to the side. My brother was rushed to the hospital yesterday having chest pains and not being able to breath. He has blood clots in his lungs. Scary. He is only 36. He doesn't have insurance. We used to be really close growing up but over the years we've grown apart. My mom and I are going to the hospital today to see him and get more info on what is going on and what they plan to do for him. Please think of him and our family. We are all worried. My parents are beside themselves, my daughter cried all night. My dad lives in Kansas and is coming up today. I hope he has a safe trip. I'll update you when I know something.

Happy Anniversary!

2008-09-24T16:16:00.003-04:00

Saturday was our 12th wedding anniversary. We kinda celebrated the weekend before in Indy. Chad got us tickets to the Poets and Pirates concert. 7 hours of music in the new stadium that the Colts play in. It was a wonderful, relaxing day. On our actual anniversary, we had a soccer game in the morning and had fried chicken for our "special" dinner. It really was perfect for us. Totally our "style".

Guy kind of fun

2008-08-23T08:19:00.004-04:00

This post is dedicated to my boys and their kind of a good time.

No fish were harmed and all were returned to their homes.

An unusual calm

2008-08-13T18:13:00.002-04:00

Yesterday was my kids first day of school. Tyler was off to his last year of middle school at 7 am. I sent him to the bus stop and peeked now and then to make sure he was okay. (No matter how old he is, I'm always gonna be his mom.) Ashley and I walked to her school around 8:30, met her teacher and visited with teachers from the past until they called all the kids to go to their classrooms. Now my daughter was off to her last year of elementary school. I've been a little sad about these milestones for weeks. We will no longer be in elementary after this year AND next year we face the new frontier called high school. Yikes! But, as I walked home leaving Ash at school, I felt oddly calm. I felt like an accomplished mom. Like I did my job. Mission completed. How quickly that feeling fades... All it took was the kids getting out of school to ruin my feeling of accomplishment. They had more papers to sign, new school supply lists to fill by Friday and tons of energy to release. Motherhood is an emotional, energy sucking roller coaster. See you in line!

Are you serious, I'm only 34?

2008-08-02T11:04:00.003-04:00

I had to go to the doctor a couple of weeks ago for a prescription refill. The kids went with me and because they weren't going to do anything "cool" (taking blood), Tyler decided to stay in the waiting room while Ashley came back with me. The nurse came in, checked my blood pressure (my issue), checked my weight (ugh) and asked if I had any other issues. I said no and out she went. The doctor came in and said my blood pressure was good (yay) but then said, "You have gained over 20 lbs since you came in last year, you really need to get that under control." He then asked if I had any other problems. At this point my lovely little 10 year old spoke up. She completely spilled the beans. In the end, he ordered some blood test to try and figure out why I'm so tired all the time and told me that I need to exercise and suggested Weight Watchers to help lose weight. So I finally got my blood test back and was asked to come to the office for the results. Not a good sign. I went in after work, scared and worried. I was then told that my vitamin D levels are low (that's why I'm tired), my cholesterol is high, my triglycerides are high and I have gout. WHAT??? I was so overwhelmed that I wanted to cry. I got some diet suggestions, a couple prescriptions and was sent out the door. I am lost. I don't even know where to begin. My diets contradict each other, gout and cholesterol. I bought some cooking magazines, looked them over and they are sitting on the ottoman. I am not motivated at all. You've all felt this, right? I need a bottle of motivation, not the cod liver oil I have to take for my vitamin D deficiency. So I am drinking my White Chocolate Mocha from Starbucks searching for inspiration. Help!

Boston

2008-07-12T17:54:00.011-04:00

I'm sorry it has taken so long to post about Boston. It was an amazing trip that Tyler and I will remember forever. I could go on and on about what we did but we have some amazing pictures that I want to share. So besides the photo commentary, I will tell you this, the amount of history in Boston is incredible. I have never been a fan of history. It bores me to no end to hear about it but I love to see it. I did not realize this until Boston. I know I learned more history in those 4 days than I did the entire time I was in school.

I'm not sure what the name of this building is but the gold leaf on top was put on by Paul Revere himself!

Tyler driving the "Duck Boat". Our driver was very entertaining and full of information.

The U.S.S. Constitution. It is the oldest ship still in commission. It could go to battle if needed but they only take it out every 4th of July to fire the cannons and turn it around.

The house of Seven Gables.

The Old North Church where the lanterns were hung to signal if the British were coming by land or sea.

Whale Watching. I was in complete awe of the size of the humpback whales. We saw about 20 feeding.

It was an awesome trip. I have some more pictures that I will share later. I hope I have the opportunity to take Ashley when she gets in Middle School. I hope you enjoyed our trip in pictures!

Happy Independence Day

2008-07-04T09:52:00.003-04:00

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I hope all of you have a great day! This is one of my favorite holidays. My Grandma started my love for the holiday and celebrated it in style. After our trip to Boston I have so much more appreciation for where our Independence began. It is hard to believe that another country ruled all of our actions. I am so glad to live in a place where I can have my own thoughts on so many things and express them openly. Today I thank all the people that have fought for our freedom. Whatever you are doing today, enjoy. To my friends that I know personally, I love you all!

Back from Boston

2008-06-29T18:02:00.002-04:00

Tyler and I have been back from Boston for 3 days and I still feel like I'm catching up. I will post pictures and more detailed info but I have to tell you that we had an amazing time. It was fabulous to spend 4 days with Tyler experiencing new things. The thing that hit me most was all the history that I'd learned in school (and forgot) was right there in front of us, most of it we could touch. Incredible. I will try to post some pics tomorrow.

Back on my Parental Soapbox

2008-06-21T06:57:00.002-04:00

Yesterday at Wal-Mart, Tyler and I were picking out some magazines for our down time during our trip. I picked up Glamour and a health magazine and warned Tyler that his choice needed to be appropriate to look at around his teachers (he's been into gun magazines lately). First, my son has a really twisted version of appropriate and second, I could have been so lucky for an ammunition magazine. First he picked up a motorcycle magazine with a really cool bike on the front. Okay. His next choice also had a bike on the front but with a bikini clad woman sprawled all over it. I immediately said no and got an eye roll and sigh. He then began to plead his case, remember he's only 13.

Mom, it only has a girl on the front. I have other magazines like this at home that Grandpa gave me.

So I picked up the magazine and flipped through it and quickly pointed out the repeated pictures of half naked girls.

I don't even look at the pictures. I read the articles.

Are you kidding me? He's using that excuse all ready? At this point it was time to go. BUT as we were standing in line I decided we needed to continue this debate.

Tyler, that is not appropriate for someone your age to look at. And until you are 18 it is my responsibility to censor what you see, hear and do. That is my job as your mom. Like it or not.

When I told Chad about it later, I had to ask if I overreacted. I was really worried that I made a bigger deal out of it than it really is. Chad assured me that I was just being a good momma trying to raise a respectable boy. What do you think?

Kitchen Talk

2008-06-20T07:22:00.002-04:00

Tyler and I were talking about the trip we are taking to Boston, we leave Monday. I asked him what he was looking forward to most and here is his list...

1. Spending time with me - awwwww
2. Seeing new things
3. Food
4. Flying for the first time!

Mom, I'm really not afraid of flying.

Good!

But I probably shouldn't have watched "Crash Landing"

No Tyler, that probably wasn't a good idea.

Whew, better kitchen talk than the "hair growth" story. If you haven't heard it, I'll tell ya later.

Kari - I will get to the book meme, promise.

Have a great day!!!

A little discretion, please

2008-06-02T17:54:00.002-04:00

Attention all teen, nearly teen girls and their parents, while my 13 year old son may appreciate the fact that your choice in swimwear barely covers your female parts, I do not. I am trying to teach MY daughter that flaunting her body is not a requirement of the teen years, that she can be accepted by her peers without doing so and your running around advertising your goodies in barely legal attire does not help. And... do parents not look at their children before they leave the house or monitor their clothing purchases? When you wonder why your daughter is being approached by 30 year old men, look at the way you let her dress. That might be a clue.

Okay, I'm done ranting for now. Thanks for listening.

For Good

2008-05-28T16:20:00.006-04:00

This sealed the deal, let me explain... I just spent the weekend with my friend Happi. People do that all the time, I know but this was special. Happi and I haven't seen each other in almost 20 years and all we really know about our lives since high school has been contained in a few letters and what we've posted on blogs. We've talked about getting together for some time but never sealed the deal. Life just kept getting in the way. It almost didn't happen this time, you see days before I was to meet up with Happi I had to go to Iowa for a funeral. I was exhausted from all the family drama and may have cancelled had it not been for the "Wicked" tickets. It was set in stone. I am so thankful. First of all, I was not nervous at all about seeing her after so long. I was perplexed by this. I am a nervous person. From the moment we saw each other it was like old times.
We talked for hours, about everything. We laughed, we cried. We ate. It was a perfect weekend. I was able to see her mom and sisters, who I consider family, and meet the wonderful man that has made their family complete. Thank you Dean and Donni for opening your home to me, I felt like one of the family. Lots of laughs. I was also privileged enough to see Kari and Darci perform at church, it was beautiful. More tears. Happi and I took the train into Chicago (first for me), walked down Michigan avenue (first) and had lunch at the Lux. YUMMMMMMMM!!!!! We then hailed a cab to see the show. Oh my gosh!!! I can not think of anyone I would have rather shared that moment with. She is the person that started my love affair with performing arts. Watching her family perform, taking dance classes at her mom's studio... My friendship with Happi changed my life in so many ways. She was the light at the end of the tunnel through a lot of hard times. I truly think God put her in my life. I am so thankful. I am thankful that if we've changed (I am sure we have), we changed in the same direction. I am thankful that I can be myself, completely, without judgement and Happi accepts that. I missed that part of myself and my friend helped me find it. I love you my dear friend. Thank you so much for a wonderful weekend. Now, I'm gonna go read your post (I promised myself I wouldn't read it till I got done with this), probably cry, then look forward to planning next year!

Happy Mother's Day

2008-05-11T17:56:00.002-04:00

As I woke up this morning at 8:45, my hubby leaned over and wished me a Happy Mother's Day. I came downstairs, took some aleve for my headache. Hubby made me a cup of my favorite hot tea. Ashley got up an hour later, came out wrapped in her quilt and wished me a Happy Mother's Day. After laying around in my nightgown for a couple of hours watching movies eating Lucky Charms, my step kids came over to bring me a card for Mother's Day. WOW!!! After Tyler came home from his dad's we met my mom at Starbucks for coffee. I got flowers and a tear jerking card from Tyler. We went to the bookstore after coffee. I love the bookstore. Then we met Chad for lunch. After lunch, I came home and took a nap. It has been my kind of day. I hope your Mother's Day has been your perfect kind of day. Happy Mother's Day!

I feel better already

2008-04-20T17:49:00.002-04:00

This is a pretty personal post, that's what this is for right, to get things off your chest and just talk? I have been incredibly stressed lately and my emotions are out of control. I actually broke down at work on Thursday and cried for two hours until Chad got there to calm me down. I was just alone in my thoughts and everything that has been bothering me came crashing down all at once. I have so many unresolved issues from my past. From my relationships with my parents, something that happened to when I was young, my grandmother's death and the fact that I never knew her... Just so many things that I can push to the back of my mind when I'm busy but when my mind slows down or I'm really stressed, it all comes crashing down all at once. So after my two hour crying spell, a day off work (unplanned) and a really long talk with my incredibly supportive hubby I decided to call a therapist. I had my first visit on Saturday and I feel better already. It's amazing how good it feels to know that I am on the way to feeling better. I saw a therapist after I had Ashley for post-par tum and anger issues and I should have dealt with these issues then but I was too afraid to let it all out. I have some pretty big skeletons in my closet that would shock people who think they know me. I am on the right path, I firmly believe that. I am tired of my past holding me back, of it controlling me. Wish me luck!!!

Am I ready for this?

2008-04-07T15:03:00.002-04:00

You may not know, because I probably don't type about them much, that my husband has two kids from a previous relationship. They are 14 and 12. When Chad and I first got together the kids came over regularly and we blended pretty easily. Not long after Ashley was born the problems started. Now I know that they were just repeating a lot stuff that they were hearing from home but some of it was very brutal. After their mother had a failed marriage, she decided she was going to do whatever it took for her and Chad to get back together. All the things that happened during this time ended up straining our relationship and Chad's relationship with his kids. They eventually stopped wanting to come over and we stopped making them, it was just too hard on all of us. We've seen them on and off over the last couple of years. Not seeing them has bothered Ashley more than anyone. This year she happened to be in class with a child that lives with Chad's kids. A couple of arguments, a parent teacher conference and a phone call later, Chad's kids were coming over every other weekend. The last 3 months have been great! It was like they had been coming over all along. The kids all got along. I stepped back a little to let them get reacquainted with Chad. It's really been nice until this weekend. It's Chad's daughter. She is 12. She thinks she's 20 something. She does what she wants, talks like she's grown with no respect for adults or other people that are around her. That may all be being 12. Here is what I had a problem with this weekend. After we came home from them mall Friday night (where she wanted us to just drop her off) she got on her my space (which she is not supposed to be on but her mother won't delete it) and told her friend that she was at the mall with her ex boyfriend and they ended up getting back together and she was spending the night at his house. Now first of all, I can't stand liars. Second of all, she completely disregarded has father's rules that she was not to be on her my space. Third, the things that she is writing are going to give her a reputation that she may not be able to get rid of. Now here is my delima, I am raising my kids to be good people, to behave a certain way, to have respect for themselves and other people. I have not raised Chad's kids. I cannot make them behave a certain way. I don't want to parent them. I want to be an example for them. I want them to look at Chad and me and know how people are supposed to treat each other. I DO NOT want my daughter to look at Chad's daughter and want to be like her. I find that the more Chad's kids are over the more my kids try to get by with acting the way they do. Chad's son has been wonderful. I don't always expect him to be this way, he is after all a teenager. He seems to motivate my son to help around the house and to be more active. I know Chad loves that has kids are coming over, so am I. I just don't know if I am ready for what more may be coming.

Time well spent... not, well actually yes

2008-04-01T19:15:00.003-04:00

Last week my hubby and I took the week off to spend with the kids for Spring Break and to finish re-doing the bathroom. The bathroom finally got finished Saturday. I planned on doing a little spring cleaning while I was at home, didn't get done. Planned to visit some family, didn't do that either. I planned on spending time with the kids, done. We watched movies, went on bike rides, talked, shopped (okay, maybe that was for me), we ran out of time (wasted some at a really crummy indoor water park). I wish I could spend more time with my kids. I need to make sure the time I spend with them is quality time. Ashley starts softball Friday, Chad's son's games start Monday, Tyler just got a job cleaning one of his teacher's yard...it all goes so fast. Two months of school left and Tyler will be in his last year of middle school and Ash will be in her last year of elementary. WOW! My babies are growing up. I did spend a couple of hours looking through old photos, made me cry. Enjoy your little people, good times and bad. One day they will have their own things to do and spending time with you will not be a priority. That's okay, you want them to be independent, to be their own person. Enjoy the fact that they need you, you need them too.

then at 12:16 am...

2008-03-27T07:19:00.003-04:00

Ashley Corynne was delivered. As I was being wheeled out of the operating room, I woke up long enough to ask my mom what I had, she said, "It's a girl and she beautiful." I think I said good and then was out once again. Hours later (it was daylight) I woke again to the sound of a baby crying. All my groggy eyes could see was this little red thing squirming in a plastic box (the bassinet) and Chad talking to it. From the moment Ashley was born she was a daddy's girl. The sound of his voice soothes her to this day. So, Ashley's birth was not at all as we had planned. I really wanted Chad by my side supporting me through the birth of our baby. My mom was there for Tyler's birth, not his dad. Ashley was born the way she lives her life, right now. She lives in the moment. She doesn't have a lot of patience, especially for situations that are not to her liking. So Ash, here's to you...

Happy 10th Birthday baby girl. You have been an adventure since the day you were born. I could not imagine life with out you. You are the funniest kid I know, sometimes not always in the appropriate situations but I wouldn't change that for the world. You are passionate about animals, nature, history (you totally get that from your dad). I love it when you come home from school bursting with new information that you learned that day. You are becoming more sensitive and caring each and every day. You help friends at school and are the one that they trust to talk to knowing that you won't share their secret. You are also the most adult 10 year old I know. I love that you and I talk about anything and everything. Sometimes your questions are a little grown-up and surprising but I do the best I can to give you what you can handle and you seem to be satisfied. I love how important family is to you. It doesn't matter what holiday or event it is, you just want everybody together. I hope that desire to keep family close follows you into adulthood. You are a completely unique individual with a rebellious side, note the purple hair. That is a quality that I hope to help mold into leadership and individuality. I truly love your "Rockstar" side. Ashley, you are a gift to everyone that is blessed enough to have you in their lives. I love you!

10 years ago today... (graphic material to follow)

2008-03-26T19:49:00.002-04:00

I was very pregnant, feeling heavy labor, eating Dairy Queen, walking at the park. In a couple of hours I will take a bath, go to bed only to be awaken by a loud sound, serious pain, and the urge to pee. I'll to the bathroom only to find my self covered in blood. Wake up Chad, go to the payphone, call an ambulance. Off to the hospital I go, off to the sitter's Tyler goes. Dilated to 10, heavy contractions, still lots of blood. Can't deliver, might cause one or both of use to die. Chad has to sign blood transfusion papers. Emergency C-section. I'm taken to the operating room, strapped down, an i.v. in inserted then I feel a hand on my throat and I'm out. To be continued...

Rest in peace

2008-03-16T12:13:00.003-04:00

My mom's mom died last night. I know she is technically my grandma but I haven't seen her since I was 13 and feel it is disrespectful to my grandma that did want me in her life to call this woman grandma. She and my mom had a horrible relationship. I do remember going to her house every time my mom and dad were getting divorced. I thank her for being a place of refuge when times at home were tough. They must have been getting along well enough then to be in the same place. My mom holds a lot of grudges against her mom to this day which is sad because she will never have closure. I think that is what I am most sad about, that I never had the chance to get to know her. I wanted to sit and talk to her at least once, show her pictures of my kids, thank her for raising my brother. My mom had a child when she was still in school and when she met my dad she left him behind. Her mom then filed for custody and from then on, my brother Todd thought she was his mom. We reconnected with him a few years ago. I know I am rambling. Sorry if this doesn't make much sense. Time ran out and I am sad about that. So, Virginia Becker, thank you for taking care of Todd the best you knew how. He certainly had a better life with you than he could have had with us. Rest in peace.

Happy 13th Birthday Tyler!

2008-02-27T15:00:00.001-05:00

2008-02-24T16:30:00.002-05:00

Tyler brought this paper home the other day and I want to share it with you. When he shocked me a while back with the thought of moving in with his dad I immediately thought that he doesn't appreciate me or the sacrifices I make for him. More than one friend told me that kids can't appreciate their parents until they are much older, looking back. Here is what he wrote, now remember he is 12 (too close to 13) so his writing is still very kid-like.

MY EVERYDAY HERO

Christopher Reeves once said, "A hero is an ordinary individual who finds strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles." My everyday hero is my mom. She is a very uplifting person that makes me happy. My mom and I are trying to do things together because we are so busy, and I never get home until 4:00. I have lots of homework that I have to get done before we can do anything together, and by the time we get to do that it is almost time to go to bed. She is very loving and giving to me and others. She helps PTO and watches us play soccer, and does cleaning and other things.

My mom is helpful at my school and my sisters school, she is helping me get to Boston and her as well. She helps my sister by being on the PTO to plan things for the students. She helps people at work and around the world. She helps people that are not able to do things.

She gives things to people that are in need of something. Like jump rope for hearts, hats for kids with cancer and other things.

My mom helps me if I'm in a very bad mood. My mom likes doing things with me. She loves figuring out if I'm not wanting to talk to anyone other than her. She loves helping me and other people over things that are very hard. She loves talking to people without being afraid of saying anything to anyone.

Henry Miller said, "The ordinary mam is involved in action, the hero acts. An immense difference." That is why I chose my mom. Because she tries to hang out with me as much as she can. I chose her because she is the one who will listen to me more than anyone else.

Happy Birthday Hubby!

2008-02-24T11:47:00.003-05:00

I love you!

My Personality Painting

2008-02-16T05:49:00.001-05:00

Click here to create your own painting.

Miracles happen everyday

2008-01-15T15:43:00.000-05:00

Check it out. I work with the sister of the mommy.

http://www.kristyanddavid.blogspot.com/

They have been blessed with twins but Jack and Ella had to be delivered early to give Jack a fighting chance. Please pray that their precious gifts grow and progress daily so that they can go home in April.

My broken heart

2008-01-10T18:37:00.000-05:00

Last night at dinner we were talking about my husbands kids. Ashley brought up the fact that in two years the youngest one will be old enough to decide if she wants to come and live with us. The older one had stated that he wouldn't leave without the other. So then Tyler says, "Ya, next year I have to go to court and decide who I want to live with. I'm not sure who I'll choose." I asked him who told him that and he said his step-mom. I was completely blind sided. I can't believe he's even been thinking about it. Chad and I have been here for him through everything. I'm a complete mess. I cried all night, called off work and slept till 10am. It's all I can think about. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't see Tyler everyday after school to ask him how his day was or know what is going on in his life. If at this point you are thinking that his dad doesn't get to see him everyday, well you should know that his dad choose that path. He never came to the hospital when he was born, made us have a paternity test. He wasn't even interested until Chad came into our lives. He gets him every other weekend and that's it. Never calls through the week... I just feel like... i don't know how I feel except like my heart is being crushed. All I've thought about today is Tyler's birth and when he was a baby and how he used to think I was the best person in the world. I'm gonna go to work tomorrow and try to get back in the swing of things. And I'm gonna try to stop crying.

Hello

2007-12-30T20:31:00.000-05:00

I haven't been on here in a while. Well, I've been checking in on all of you but haven't posted anything of my own. Alot of my friends are on myspace and I check in on them also but chose not to blog and bare my soul there, I save that for all of you.
Christmas went pretty well. I'm not close to my in-laws and just struggle through the occasions where it's an obligation to be in each others company. My dad is not speaking to me, who knows why. That has me down but I have faith I'll get through it. The kids seemed to enjoy Christmas but it was over too quickly. I'm in the process of packing everything up now. I love how clean and un-cluttered the house looks after the holidays.
Tyler is turning 13 in February and has turned into someone I don't even know. He is so moody. He hardly ever talks to us and seems to be angered at the drop of a hat. It's driving me crazy. Please forward any advice my way. I am trying so hard to be the parent that mine were not. I'm sure it was easier for them to ignore us and be absorbed in thier lives but I refuse to be that way. They will never be young again and I plan to be as involved as they'll let me. I guess that's what I'm worried about, that Tyler is shuting me out. Now is the time that you all can tell me not to worry.
I am planning on enjoying New Year's at home with my hubby and kids. We usually go to a friends house but I think I want to bring in the new year in my p.j.'s. Sounds good, right?
Well, I hope you all had a good Christmas!

Car Conversation

2007-09-10T16:11:00.000-04:00

Don't you just love those deep conversations you have with your children when you are alone in the car? Well, here is how Ashley's conversation went with me today, while we are driving to Tyler's middle school.

Mom, why do all the black people stare at us?

I don't know all black people.

MOM, I mean the black people here. Why do they stare?

'Cause we're pretty.

I think they hate us.

Some people hate everybody and everything but how could they hate us if they don't know us?

Mom, did you every date a black person?

No, I didn't. I didn't grow up where there were any black people. But Ashley, there is nothing wrong with people different from us. As long as the people you choose to spend time with treat you good, they are worth having around.

Well, I know Carlos and he's Mexican and he's nice.

You should give everybody a chance.

Mom, can we buy some gum? (She got her appliances out today for a 3 month gum chewing vacation.)

Did I handle that okay? Don't you always wonder what they really listen to and what sinks in? Does parenting get easier, less critical? Probably not. That's okay, I love being a parent. Well, gotta go to Tyler's first away football game. We a undefeated so far. Woo Hoo!

We Won!!!

2007-08-30T10:48:00.000-04:00

Oh my gosh, I love football. I love it even more that my kid is out there playing. So we won 28 to 0. Pretty impressive, huh. Tyler played offense and defense. He was covered in bruises by the end of the game. I'm sure he'll be really sore today. I am so proud of him. Ashley has soccer tonight but I will miss her game 'cause I'm off to Dallas. Have a great weekend.

Football

2007-08-29T15:18:00.000-04:00

Tonight is Tyler's first football game. I am so excited! Oddly enough, I am not worried. I think he will be just fine. He got a bloody nose yesterday during practice and handled it like the man he is becoming. Then when he got home from getting his athletic supporter last night, he put it on over his pajama pants and danced into the kitchen to show me like the kid he still is. I just adore my children! Keep your fingers crossed that I get to post that we won!

The Monthly Visitor

2007-08-28T15:22:00.000-04:00

No matter what nickname you give it, the fact is it happens and a lot of times happens too young. Why am I bringing this up? Well, I'll tell ya. My daughter is in 4th grade. The grade where they show "the movie". You remember "the movie" and the little goodie bag that you got afterward? Well, thank goodness they don't give out the goodie bag that you had to hide from boys anymore but they do still show the movie. When Tyler watched his movie (I went with him, whole other blog) I thought he might be too young. He took it well and life went on as usual. Well Ashley didn't wait to ask questions. I'd always kept her out of the bathroom at "that" time just so she wouldn't be alarmed but as soon as she could read the despensers in the public restrooms, questions came up. At first I gave her as little info as possible but last year I went to the gyno for a follow up and Ashley went with me. My doctor asked me how old Ashley was and then proceeded to tell me that she was quite developed for her age and that it was possible for her to start her period in as little as a year. WHAT??? It took a while for me to grasp that but I knew we needed to have the talk soon. I think it might have been a month later when we sat down and went over the basics and over time Ashley has asked more questions as they came up. Okay, now to the point of my story. Today I picked Ashley up at school and as soon as she gets in the car she says, "Guess who started her period today?" I must have had a frightened look on my face because she immediately said, "Oh, not me. I'm supposed to call you when that happens. It was Brittney." I don't know Brittney but she's in Ashley's class. So I asked what happened. The shorter version of the story is that Brittney went to the bathroom, screamed and was found in ther by a group of girls crying. I forgot to mention that Ashley has a male teacher. Anyway, Ashley ended up in the bathroom and seemed to be the only one of the group that could calmly tell her that she had started her period. She told her that her mom had said it would happen to all of them and it was just a part of growing up and then she suggested that Brittney go and talk to a female teacher. Good job Ashley and woo hoo for me too. I can't believe that none of the other girls had had the talk. I am so glad that it wasn't my daughter in the restroom thinking she was going to die. I feel bad for that little girl though. 10 years old and starting your period? Too much responsibility at such a young age. My doctor did tell us you can slow it's coming down by eating totally organic. They don't make organic chicken nuggets so we are totally out of luck! So the moral to my story is... Even though we may not think it is time to dicuss certain things with our kids, if they ask it's time. I may regret that statement as soon as I find out if the girl Tyler likes agreed to "go out with" him or not. He's asking her today.

8 more days

2007-08-22T15:15:00.001-04:00

Until what? 'Till I get to go to Dallas and meet my friend for a fun filled weekend. Jeremy and I have been friends for 18 years. We met in high school and even though he moved away, we have stayed extremely close. We are like family. He is flying me down to spend the weekend. He lives in Arkansas but is driving to Dallas. Gosh I hope the weather is nice. I'm not sure what we are going to do except try to catch a rodeo. I am going to miss my family like crazy but I am so excited about time away (from work mostly). I absolutely love my good friends. Jeremy knew I needed to be "taken away" and he is there for me. He has a lot of people in his life that take advantage of his generosity. It was very hard for me to let him "take me on a trip". He's taking care of everything. I just have to show up. I will tell y'all about it when I get back and hopefully have some pics to post.

School's Back in Session

2007-08-13T15:03:00.000-04:00

The kids go back to school tomorrow and I must admit, I'm gonna miss our lazy days of summer. It has been so nice to come home to both of the kids ready to tackle whatever the plans may be. Starting Wednesday, Tyler will get home an hour and a half after Ashley. That will be on days of no football practice. For those days, I'm alone with her for three and a half hours. Scary! No, not really. I just feel like she gets more of my time when school is in session and I don't want Tyler to feel less important. However, I am very excited about Tyler playing football. I think he'll do very well and I hope he loves it. I will totally be one of those mom's that wears her kid's name and number on game day. The kids have always been involved in sports but school sports are a little different, he will be representing his school. Of course, he's probably doing it all for the ladies ;) Soccer starts tomorrow night for Ashley. She is a league where she is the youngest on her team. I think it will be a great learning opportunity for her. She just thinks she "stinks". Once she gets out there and kicks someone in the shin, she'll be just fine!! She's getting a little too good at knowing how many fouls she can make without getting kicked off the field. That's my girl :) I'm taking the day off tomorrow to have lunch with the kids since it's only a half day. Oh, and pick up the school supplies that have been added to the list that we've already purchased. Don't you just love school?!

Wordless Wednesday

2007-07-11T14:48:00.000-04:00

Ralphie begging. How could you resist?

33 things I love

2007-06-29T17:33:00.000-04:00

My 33rd birthday is next week and I'm not sure if I'll be blogging then so I decided to post this now. I saw a list like this in a magazine and thought it was a neat idea. Now, as you read this don't get offended that certain things are not on it. This is not an obligatory list, it's totally selfish. These are things I love that make me feel good, so here it goes.

1. My husband. He is my best friend. I can tell him anything!
2. Tyler. He's happy just being with me and he'll do about anything that I want.
3. Ashley. She is very opinionated (love that) and she is incredibly funny.
4. Our kitty, Ralphie. He's soft and fluffy (don't love the shedding) and has a huge personality.
5. The ocean, especially where the colors are all shades of blue and green.
6. Starbucks - White chocolate mocha is my favorite.
7. Bubble baths
8. A good book
9. Sunrise
10. Sunset
11. Pompeii Purple - my favorite OPI nail color
12. Sephora
13. Full body Swedish massage - newly addicted
14. Being spoiled or pampered
15. Baby animals - cute ones
16. Laughter - as long as it's not hurtful
17. Seeing old people hold hands
18. Good, hot pizza
19. Strawberry Pina Coloda - Cheeseburger in Paradise
20. Cracker Barrell - early on Sunday morning.
21. Savannah, GA - only been there once but loved it!
22. Sweet tea - especially from the above place.
23. Expensive purses - because my hubby thinks I'm worth it.
24. Pictures
25. Falling asleep in the middle of the day just 'cause there is nothing to do.
26. Swimming
27. When I go to the doctor and my blood pressure is down and so is my weight. That means I'm doing something right. At my age that is good.
28. Holding hands with my husband and kids
29. Kissing my husband and kids
30. Hugging almost anyone as long as they don't smell and aren't sweaty.
31. Christmas but even more so the Christmas spirit that makes people more giving and patient.
32. BBQ - chicken, ribs, hamburgers
33. And finally, the 4th of July. I love, love, love the fireworks. I think it's the perfect introduction to my birthday on the 5th.

I've been tagged again

2007-06-20T15:33:00.001-04:00

I love reading these on other peoples blogs and love filling them out. Thanks Hap!!!

Five things I was doing 10 years ago
1. My hubby and I decided to move away from our families and closer to work so we moved a whole 25 miles north.

2. I finally talked Chad into having one more child. He had 2 and I had 1 when we got married. He was through with kids and I wanted a little girl. On July 13 we found out we were pregnant with Ashley. We can't imagine life without her.

3. Potty training Tyler.

4. Fighting with the in-laws. Since I was the newest addition to the family everything bad that was happening had to be my fault.

5. We bought a mini van and instantly became sir and mam at the age of 23.

Five snacks I enjoy
1. Popcorn dipped in peanut butter (thanks Hap)
2. Apples (dipped in caramel sauce is an added bonus)
3. Tortilla chips and salsa
4. Combos
5. Carrots and dip

Five songs that I know all the words to
1. Brickhouse
2. Purple Rain
3. The Wedding date soundtrack
4. Fergalicious
5. Don't Cha

Five things I would do if I were a Millionaire
1. Move, I would love to live on the beach
2. Put away money for the kids college
3. Travel, almost everywhere
4. Donate money to my favorite charities
5. Adopt

Five bad habits
1. Eating out
2. Assuming the worst
3. Fashion shows and magazines
4. Caffeine
5. Stressing out

Five things I would never wear again
1. Jellies
2. Tapered jeans
3. Shoulder pads
4. Short shorts
5. Shoes without socks

Five things I like to do
1. Read
2. Laugh
3. Spend time with my husband and kids
4. Go on vacation
5. Watch movies

Five favorite toys
1. Strawberry Shortcake - I sniff them every time I go through the toy isle
2. Easy Bake oven
3. Clue
4. Cabbage Patch kids
5. Pacman

Memphis Rocks!!!

2007-06-10T18:51:00.001-04:00

Last weekend I went to Memphis with a bride-to-be, her sister and another friend for an Elvis inspired bachelorette weekend. We had SO much fun. When we arrived in Memphis after the 10 hour drive we decided to go for a quick swim in the hotel pool. As hot as we were, to pool was freezing! We then decided to go ahead and dress up in our matching bachelorette party shirts (I know, how cute!) and head downtown to Beal Street. The drive was a little scary. We had to go through some not so nice neighborhoods to arrive downtown. Beal Street was awesome! There was blues music coming from every bbq restaurant and bar. We went to eat at the Hard Rock Cafe, got a free round from a local then hit the streets to shop. We met some lovely men from Australia that had been in Vietnam and were here visiting the vice president and then decided to tour this great country of ours. They wished our bride well after a long conversation and went on their way. I wanted to go into Coyote Ugly just to say I'd been there. We went, had a great time, did nothing that would jeopardize our marriages ;) and then drove back to the hotel. Enough said about that! The next day we got up earlier than planned because we were so excited about visiting Graceland. We had VIP passes, which meant that we didn't have to wait in line for anything and we got extra tours. I have never been an Elvis "fan". Not that I didn't like him, I just never was that interested. He lived an amazing life. I know he did wrong, but to look at all he accomplished at such a young age and all the public pressure he dealt with. WOW. Graceland was very impressive as were his walls of gold records and trophy room. I could go on and on. I was absolutely in awe. After we left Graceland we went back downtown to go on a "Duck Ride". We got to learn about a lot of Memphis' history. We saw the hotel where Martin Luther King Jr. was shot. Again, wow. I would like to go back to Memphis and see more of their history. My husband would absolutely love all the music and food. After we got back to the hotel, we all crashed. We made record time getting home. It's always nice to come home. I had a great time with the girls and made memories that will last. BUT, I always miss my family and think about what they would like to see when I go away without them.

My friends wedding is this weekend. I wish her all the happiness in the world. I've told her that a good marriage takes work but it is SO worth it.

I'll post some pics from our weekend soon!

Would I like some cheese with that whine? Well, yes I would!

2007-05-29T20:05:00.000-04:00

Okay, it's been a long time since I've blogged and instead of family news or inspirational thoughts, I'm going to whine. I'm sick and tired and hungry and hot and and and. I'm sure I could go on but that looks really pathetic. I got sick over the long weekend at our friends annual "Crazy Croquette(sp?)" tournament. I'm going to Memphis this weekend for an Elvis inspired bachelorette party and I would rather not be feeling under the weather. It seems that when I get a cold at this time of year it never goes away. And I'm tired. The kids have ball games every night and tonight Tyler's game will not be over till after 10 p.m. Chad is covering that one. And I'm hungry. I worked SO hard to lose 30 pounds last year and it seems like it just keeps creeping back on. I just can't seem to get in the routine that I was in last year. I took a break over the winter holidays, my bad, but never got back on track. Okay, what else? Oh ya, hot. I refuse to turn the air on until we are all absolutely miserable just so we can enjoy at least a month with low utility bills. Gas prices are killing us since we drive 50 miles everyday for work.

On the brighter side, we have wonderful, healthy kids. Chad and I are still madly in love with one another and our happy home. I'm sorry I complained but I'll do better next time.

I've been tagged

2007-05-07T15:12:00.000-04:00

My friend Happi tagged me with a "7 random facts about you" meme. I'm not tagging anyone else since the people's blogs that I read have already been tagged.

1. I used to live in a bus in the woods when I was in the 5th grade. We took baths in a river, used an outhouse and cooked on an open fire. I have no desire to go camping.

2. I LOVE sweet tea!

3. I have my feelings hurt easily but won't tell people when they hurt them.

4. I am addicted to magazines and lip gloss.

5. I have 2 half brothers and 1 half sister. My siblings by my dad live in France and I've never met them.

6. I want to be a better housekeeper, cook, etc.

7. I live for family vacations.

There ya go. Now I really need to get on the vacation/Ashley's birthday post.

2 more days

2007-03-21T15:27:00.000-04:00

In two more days we are leaving on vacation! Woo who! We are going to Arkansas to visit my very, very good friend Jeremy. He lives in a historic town way at the bottom of the state. It's so beautiful there and there is nothing that matches southern hospitality. We always have a wonderful time when we visit because Jerm's friends and family have become ours. It's totally relaxing. The kids will ride horses, swim, go 4-wheeling, etc. Anything but watch TV. And while they are entertained with all the country has to offer, Chad and i get to just enjoy being with each other. At the end of our week, we are going to a house he's leased in northern Arkansas that is up in the mountains with a waterfall and private (fishing)pond nearby. That is where we will meet up with my dad. He lives about 4 hours north. I'm SO glad I get a chance to see my dad. He is going to be 65 this year and I always worry that our time together is limited. I probably shouldn't think that way but I do. Ever since my grandparents died, I try to treasure everyone that I love. Okay, this is going the sentimental direction and that was not my plan. Ashley's birthday is next week and I plan to do a tribute but it will not be on her birthday since I plan to leave the computer at home. We are having cake tonight for the fam here. And I still have to pack... What am I doing in blog land? I gotta go. I'll see what you've all been up to when I get back.

Woo Hoo!!

2007-03-13T15:05:00.000-04:00

It is 74 degrees outside. I am so excited, although I agree with Lori over at Glass Half Full that this will all be a fond memory when it is snowing on Saturday. I'm going to wash the dogs, open windows, go for a walk and eat at B&K. Yummy! I hope you all enjoy this beautiful weather!!!

Happy Birthday Tyler

2007-02-27T16:03:00.000-05:00

Today is Tyler's 12th birthday. I know, I can't believe he's 12 already. All day yesterday I kept thinking about what I was doing twelve years ago. I remember it better than yesterday. I remember what I ate, what I did, when my labor started, etc. My life changed on this day twelve years ago and I wouldn't have it any other way. So, Tyler here are my thoughts on this day.

Tyler, I am so proud of the person that you are becoming. You are nice to people even if they are not nice to you. You are so quick to help anyone in need, whether you know them or not. You are sensitive to people and situations. You have such a big heart and so much love in it. I love your endless faith in all that is good. I hope that you continue to grow with a loving attitude on life. Keep finding the good in situations. Don't ever compromise your beliefs for other people just to fit in. You are a wonderful person. You are a great student (honor roll twice!). There are endless opportunities awaiting you if you continue to try you best. Even though say that I wish you would stop growing up, I am excited for all that you will accomplish. The coming years might be difficult. You will be changing, situations will be changing. One thing that will never change is the love that Chad and I have for you and the fact that we will always be here with support and understanding. You will make bad choices, own up to them, learn from them and move on. Don't let bad things that happen be excuses, instead make them reasons to be better. You will get you feelings hurt, you will lose friends, you will have more crushes that just Stephanie. Stay open to all that is good in life. My wish for you (and Ashley) is that you have a great childhood and that you are a good person. No matter how old you are, you will always be that baby that comforted me as much as I comforted you when we first met. I love you!

Happy Birthday Big Brother

2007-02-21T16:10:00.000-05:00

Today is my brother's 35th birthday. I wish we got along better like we did when we were kids but that's not always how life goes. I do love him and wish him the best that life has to offer. So, Happy Birthday, Andy! Love Ya!!!

In memory of Mammaw

2007-02-07T07:43:00.000-05:00

I was planning to continue my friends tribute but life has led me to this memorial. Chad's grandma died Monday. She had been very ill for a long time. The family was called in on Friday for final goodbyes. I went as a rep for our part of the family as Chad did not want to see his Grandma in that condition. I'm glad he didn't go. I respect the fact that he wanted to remember her the way she used to be. I hope the rest of his family does too. After the realization that it was her time, her children decided they were not going to let her go alone. They planned out a schedule for the remainder of her time. While this was a wonderful gesture, it wasn't until she was left alone early Monday morning that she passed. The nurse from hospice said that sometimes people want to hang on as long as there is someone with them. They feel like they are letting someone down if they go while they are with them. The funeral is today. It's sad. I feel bad for my husband's family. Just from my experience of my grandparents passing, I know the worst is not over. The days following are hard. Mother's Day will be hard. A year from now might still be hard. Sometimes things like this will tear a family apart. I pray that doesn't happen to this family.

My Friend, Happi

2007-01-29T16:37:00.000-05:00

This is my friend, Happi. I decided to dedicate some space to my closest friends and she is the one I've had the longest. We met in our Freshman year at Valparaiso High School. We were both new and luckily got put next to each other in science (or was it health?) and instantly became friends. Her family was fabulous and treated me like we'd known each other forever. They were the normalcy that I needed in my life. I was able to be myself. I fit in. You would have to know a whole lot about my past to understand why this meant so much to me. Anyway, we spent every moment together that we could. I even took dance classes from her mom. It was awesome! During the summer Happi got the chance to perform at an amusement park. She left and I missed her like crazy! I bugged my parents so much that my dad did something totally out of character and bought me a bus ticket to go see her. YIPEE!!! It was the worst bus ride but totally worth it. I sat next to a woman for 17 hours to Pennsylvania that had been on the bus since California. I also had just tried water skiing the day before so I was sore from head to toe. By the way, still can't ski. I was a bit worried that I would be in the way but not so. I hung out and watched the shows until Happi was done working and then we were on our own to do what ever we pleased. Luckily we were (and still are) not the kind of people that would do anything inappropriate, so we stayed out of trouble. We felt so grown up being on our own. I'm sure some of the older kids were looking out for us but they hid it well acting like we didn't exist. We had a great time. After the summer was over we started back to school. I was really looking forward to everything that we were going to do. It didn't happen though. My parents informed me that we were moving. I moved shortly after school started. We stayed as good of friends as we could. We saw each other a few times when I could talk my mom into driving to Valpo. We lost touch now and then but always seemed to find one another again. One of the things that I really appreciate about all of my friends is that we don't have to talk all the time to still be friends. That is true with me and Happi. We can lose touch for years and get in contact with each other and talk about anything. I know she cares about me and my life and I'm sure she knows I feel the same way. Thank you, Happi, for your friendship all these years.

Me Time

2007-01-18T10:54:00.000-05:00

Okay, I said I was going to let you all know what I've been doing with my days off. On Friday I cleaned. Not the self realization I was hoping for but I was alone. It is SO much easier to clean when the kids and hubby aren't home. Tyler got out of school early that day and made it home before I had even taken a shower. Hard to admit. I just didn't see the point in getting pretty to clean. My very good friend was up from Arkansas so we went out for drinks that night and just had some great heart to heart talks. He's a mess and needs a boring old homebody to remind him of the simple pleasures in life. (love ya) Saturday I did the whole pampering thing. While the kids slept in I tried out a new sample from Philosophy called Make-up Optional. My face was so smooth and even. Love it. That was about as long as my beauty lasted because I started getting sick that afternoon. I have the worst cold I've had in a long time. I even took today off of work to rest. I haven't called off work in years. So now I have dark circles under my eyes and a red nose. And of course this is the week that the kids have soccer every night. We have double games tonight. I'm ashamed to go out looking like this but the energy it would take to get ready would be all I have for the night. I did take a shower! My next day off is Friday the 26th. If I'm over this cold I plan to scrapbook. Happi gave me a piece of advice. Thanks. Oh, Heather beware of the "old" photo's coming. I did find a few of us. The rest must have been lost in the fire. Sorry! I was really hoping to find some of Happi from Dorney Park. Wish me a speedy recovery!

We Won!!!

2007-01-09T20:38:00.000-05:00

Tyler's soccer team one their first game tonight. Yeah!!! They have played so many times and have gotten skunked. I guess they decided tonight was different. It was a great game. I wish you all could have seen it. GO BLUE!!!

2007-01-08T14:52:00.000-05:00

Today, on our first official day back to work after the Christmas holiday, we were told that we are going to be working 4 day weeks for at least a month. No, not four 10 hour days but only getting 32 hours a week. Wonderful! That's all I need after the holiday spendfest I always go on. And then after it sunk in, I actually started liking the idea. One day a week, all to myself. The kids are going to be at school and hubby will be at work. I can do whatever I want (as long as it doesn't cost money). Do you remember when we were younger and we would spend all day painting our nails with a face mask on and deep conditioner on our hair, listening to music? Okay, maybe you guys didn't. But what I'm getting at is that we, as adults, rarely ever get to have me time. That is unless you're sick and no-one want to be around you. So, just to let you all know, one day a week I am going to have me time. I probably won't be primping but I do plan to do some things that I enjoy. I've always wanted to scrapbook and actually have quite a few supplies but have never put aside enough time to even get started. So there is one thing on my list. Any suggestions from you that are pro's would be helpful. I also need to go through my clothes and remove anything that makes me look frumpy. Since I've started losing weight, big clothes are comfy but not flattering. I also plan to try and blog more. It's really a great outlet and I love reading what other people have to say even if I don't know them. I'll let you all know what I get accomplised, even if it is just softer hair and a brighter complextion!

Spread Christmas Cheer

2006-12-22T17:26:00.000-05:00

Today I finished up my holiday shopping. I have to admit, I felt pretty stress free. BUT, almost everyone around me was grumpy and in a hurry. So, in my best holiday voice (which is not very good) I started singing whatever Christmas song was playing on the PA. I noticed a couple of people whistling along. I whistle worse than I sing! Sometimes I think the best way to spread some holiday cheer is to make sure you have some yourself. So, I wish you all more holiday cheer than you can hold inside. Share it!

Bragging Rights

2006-12-14T14:58:00.000-05:00

I just want to take a moment to brag on my family! First, my children. Tyler and Ashley both passed their ISTEP's with flying colors and Tyler has been on honor roll twice. Way to go! Chad and I are planning to celebrate with them this weekend somehow. I think it is so important to focus on all the good things our kids do especially when people are more than willing to point out the bad. I am very proud of both of them!
Ok, now Chad. He has always been very supportive but I especially appreciate it this time of year. He did a mock graph of my stress level throughout the year the other day to point out when he sees me getting stressed. Good thing I was in a good mood or it may not have been well taken. Anyway, he has been taking care of the little things so that I don't have to and without me even asking! I really, really appreciate it. Sometimes I think he knows me better than I know myself.
I have a wonderful family and just wanted you all to know it!

Mommy, she's with Jesus

2006-12-05T15:55:00.000-05:00

Last week a girl in my daughter's class died. She had leukemia but that's not what finally took her. She got sick and just couldn't fight it off. She was my son's age, 11, but had only been able to reach the third grade due to being out so much sick, which put her in my daughter's class. We'd seen her around, talked to her mother at skating parties, etc. You know all the things you do when your kids go to school together. I felt the deepest sympathy for her mother when I found out that she had passed. I hurt like never before. I just couldn't imagine it. I cried on and off all weekend. Her funeral was yesterday. There was no way I could go. It just seems so much more sad when it's a child. Anyway, Ashley was talking about how all the teachers seemed "upset at everybody" yesterday. I told her that maybe they were thinking that you should all be greatful of the lives you have because Tiffney will never go to school again, never have Christmas again... At this time she cut me off and said, "Mommy, you need to let it go, she's with Jesus now." Ok.