Thursday, February 5, 2009


"amazing grace philosophy - life is a classroom. we are both student and teacher. each day is a test. and each day we receive a passing or failing grade in one particular subject: grace. grace is compassion, gratitude, surrender, faith, forgiveness, good manners, reverence, and the list goes on. it's something money can't buy and credentials rarely produce. being the smartest, the prettiest, the most talented, the richest, or even the poorest, can't help. being a humble person can and being a helpful person can guide you through your days with grace and gratitude."

This is the quote on my bottle of amazing grace body wash. I was soaking in the tub last night and for what ever reason read that quote. I have been thinking about it all day. I hope to live my life with grace. I want to be more considerate to all people and their situations. I am way too quick to judge, especially at Wal-Mart at the first of the month. I find myself questioning doing nice things for people because they may not appreciate it or they would not do it in return. Why? I don't know. Maybe I am getting caught up in this cynical world. I don't want to be that way and I don't want to leave that impression of myself with people.

God - please give me the ability to live a "graceful" life. To be more accepting of people, that they are who they are and I cannot change that.

My brother's girlfriend is pregnant. I have a lot of issues with my brother. The girlfriends he's chosen are not ladies that I would hang out with. Growing up I always wanted a sister and hoped that my brother would marry my future best friend, no such luck. Anyway, I am getting off topic. Next week Dora, my brother's gf, is having an ultrasound and I asked if I could go. My kids are 13 and 10. It's been a while. They said that was fine but I am cautious. I could get so involved in this baby's life and I want to. I'm just not sure that I can keep my mouth shut or hide my feelings well enough to not tick anyone off. This refers to the above of me accepting people as they are. I just choose to lead a different life. But I know that I would be miserable if I wasn't the best Aunt Kari I could be. It will be my first niece or nephew that I am here for. (My brother has another child in Kansas.) So please, pray for me for next week. Her ultrasound is on Thursday. I'll let you know what we find out.

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